i think its time for me to stop flattering myself.. LOL~! okai.. fine.. i know i am rather thickskinned... but all these while.. i've allowed myself to get.... blown away... with all those little little gestures tt i so love.. with all those sweet words.. i suppose its actually darn easy to flatter me.. never knew that actually.. hahahahaha

i know i've alwaes value gestures more than words but......

well.. now i know it is nothing special and that all those little gestures are being done to everyone... i feel so... dumb.. LOL~! seriously.. i am like.. wad the heck..i actually got flattered by those...but d'oh.. its done to every female he knows... so...okai.. time to stop.. seeing it in a special way.. LOL~! stupid me.. i get too carried away...i feel so silly.... gwarsh..why did i allow myself to get carried away till like tt.. darn it...i really feel so stupid.. so stupid i know i can cry.. LOL~! i think i might once i enter the shower.... u know how calming the warm water is tt u get sooo relaxed and relieve urself u know u know~ ^^ ^^

okai.. from today on... i'll look at things differently.. will not~! allow myself to get silly-ly stupidified anymore... sheesh...

he calls back everyone who called him right.. d'oh so of course he'll call u back when he noticed.. its only natural u dolt... plus he replies to everyone too silly..when u're around he answers every other person's calls.. he answers every other people's msg.. but when he's with others.. he doesnt exactly answer ur every sms and ur every call.. so how can u flatter urself even tho u know all these facts.. stupid~

in fact when he's with u+others.. he pays more attention to the others than to the u.. LOL~! how come i know all these and yet i still let myself gets... expectant or hopeful~ gragh~! i cannot take it.,.

i suppose thats one thing i like... tt he's so good and so nice to everyone.. but....i suppose... i'm just the same as everyone else... just tt everyone else din think much of it.. but i valued it too much more than i should i suppose? i am seriously ashamed.. to think i tot that it was done only coz i'm me..LOL~! stupid.. stupid stupid me.. u know... u know deep down u wished that it was all for u.. but heh~ WAKEY WAKEY~! *slaps* its time to wake up oh me... lol~! there's alwaes a cloud in the clearest sky.. just the matter of the colour of the cloud.. white.. grey... or black... LOL~! soo... come on.. hw come am i so easily defeated like this.. nyahahahhahaha~! okai.. i think i feel better.... am i~? lol~! i hope so~ ^^ just... stop flattering urself too much k.. remember.. its not special.. its done to everyone.. so u're just normal.. so... slam urself back on the ground..

i think if i'm suppose to write tt compo my sis is writing now.. my first criteria would be... 1. he's not handsome n not charismatic.. why? coz he's difficult to maintain... 2. he's not toooo nice to be true... why? coz he's nice to everyone else too~~

*now tt i re-read the entry... i really sounds like some psycho.. I speak to myself soo much~!!"