2 cases... doing this not to prove myself or wad... just wanna say... tho you may not be aware.. doesnt mean it doesnt exist... i know of these cases coz i read female magazines... so i know... but anywae... how do u communicate when one insists on her point? (sounds like my mom...a lot....)
In recent divorce statistics here, women petitioners outnumber the men almost three to one.
Take Ms Megan Lim, 35, who filed for divorce from her husband after five years of marriage. They married when she was 28 because she was at a 'marriageable age', she says.
Conflicts arose soon after their two children came along. Both had differing opinions on how to raise them. Her spouse was the 'traditional sort' - he believed he was the sole head of the household.
Finally, when her husband became physically abusive, Ms Lim decided she wanted out.
She says: 'I realised that it would be better for me to go on to a life that I really wanted than to compromise and suffer. The kids suffer with me, my husband suffers with me, everybody suffers.'
Ms Lim is now dating a Dutch hotel developer based in Bangkok whom she met through dating agency Drinks At Eight.
Unlike her ex-husband, the new man in her life appreciates her independent spirit. 'I have three words I live by in my life - love, joy and free will. I have all that now.'
With divorce becoming more of a mark of choice rather than abandonment, marrying a divorcee is also less of a taboo practice, note social observers.
Says Mrs Tan: 'People are beginning to look more at qualities of their partner rather than their status as a divorcee.'
Additionally, having children in tow, as in the case of mother-of-two Hutagalung, is increasingly less of an obstacle to the path of new love.
The result is a new, blended family, which is good news for pro-family community leaders. Only last Sunday, at a ministerial forum on families, Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports Vivian Balakrishnan made a renewed call for Singaporeans to make family a top priority.
Over at the Asian Women's Welfare Association (AWWA), 10 out of 12 couples in a support group for remarried couples are below or slightly above the age of 30, says counsellor Saiful Hisham Sidek. Which means they still have some child-bearing years left.
In a survey conducted in 2004, AWWA found that out of 2,000 Muslim divorcees, 11 per cent remarried.
2nd case:
One example is twice-divorced production operator and mother of several children, Rehani Sulaiman, 33. She went on to marry deliveryman Yan Mohammed, 34, in January 2004, and has a child with him.
She married her first husband at 19, only to have him leave her for someone else after five years, when she was expecting their first child. About two years later, she married her second husband, with whom she bore another three children. But he turned physically abusive. She clung on for eight years before filing for divorce.
Ms Rehani started dating Mr Yan, a bachelor with no previous marriages, in 2003. Though he readily accepted her status as a divorcee with custody of four young children, she was wary of marrying a third time. Says Mr Yan: 'I had to propose to her four times before she accepted.'
There are more of these stories in those magazines i subscribed to... I mean.. this is Singapore leh.... since when does the rule of "i am male and u're female.. hence i can do it n u cant" apply sia... if it applies i think the economic wont be so booming or sth.... but i must say.... i am like amazed with myself wor...i wonder wad happened to the "i will prove tt i know my own facts n i know wad i am doing too so please stop thinking ur way is the only way out" kind of me.... wahahahaha! but i must say.. its not easy... compressing it kind of hurt a little... tts why if its my mom i would've blarred it all out.. coz i dont want to get the stinging feeling....sigh~ control control.... have a little patience!
"I've only started to realise the things that I should've noticed a long while ago. I'll sort my own feelings out. So while I am at it, please, just let me love you a little longer."- Nakatsu, Hana Kimi
