Thursday, January 04, 2007
Bias~~~
Thats the only word that I can think of when I think bout my mom now.. okai fine so there's another arguement between me n her but seriously~~ she's damn bias-ed against me la.. dunno wad the heck she has against me.. and believe me~ I am trying to find faults in myself~~ trying to understand her lah~~
I think the more she said about all those not so good thing bout me like... stubborn la... idiot la... wad la.. the more i am becoming more stubborn leh~ coz somehow I am becoming trying to proof she's right n hence I can find fault within myself and so I can accept her and not argue so much~ but omg~ so depressing~~
so this last arguement was about~ Singaporean guys n families.. i dunno wad the heck is wrong with her and her biasness against the guys here la k~~ gragh!!! she kept saying indonesians are better coz the parents have already set paths for their sons and hence they're more likely to be more succesful~~~
so~~ earning more money is more succesful to her... and so if I am to comprehend wadever she was saying~ mwahaha kor will have no choice but to go back n work k~ I dont mind going back to work.. but I am saying HELL NO if I am to marry Indonesians~~~
She was like.. marry someone~ n just stay at home... take care of ur kids~ be a home maker... (that is IF u have a child...) I never liked kids.. not that I wont have one on my own~ I suppose I wouldnt mind.. BUT! I dont want my kids to be like... only be taught by me n never by the dad coz the dad is alwaes so busy working... and entertaining guests... that so sickening~ I dont want tt kind of life whereby I am staying at home everyday doing nothing~ Even now when I am holidaying.. Kor was like saying good wad.. can game can slack can sleep can do wadever I want.. Then again it's not me? I suppose I'll be damn happy if I can sleep n eat n game 24-7... but~ its so boring~~ I may be weird.. but I really dont want to lead tt kind of life.. If so then why the heck am I studying till degree? After all.. all I need to do is handle kids only wad... (tho i think i'll need schooling specially for that).. No need to help my husband to work.. No need to socialise.. My life will only revolve on my kids n my kids only... next time my kids grow up I cannot let go of him/her or if he/she go against me i'll be damn wounded and I'd probably kill myself and blame myself for yada yada yada yada yada.. okai hey~ I think I am starting to sound like my mom~~~ "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
that really sounds very depressing..not that I want to work my bum off to support my husband n the family.. of course i'll want my husband to be the bread-winner.. but I can also help him out with his work and learn a bit of stuffs right~~ (after all the brain is there) wad handle kids.. i will la... do housework I will la... but I want more substance than just tt.. I wonder how the heck can I make that point to her...
and she ah~ seriously have sth against me la.. Kor is the most angelic.. very flexible.. will go back when the time comes.. (HAHAHAHA) when he fails its not becoz he has been gaming or not studying~ the subject/school is just too tough or the teacher's too biased against him... not stubborn and yea~ will follow dad's path in inheriting the company~~
Shanny~ well she's the 2nd most angelic i suppose~ tho she has a rather weird temper i'd say~ and sometimes do mistakes like pouring the water onto something.. she's not at fault really~ the fault lies in me for bringing water into my room n putting it there so she has the chance to knock it down by accident.. the blame still lies in me afterall... (like hello!? I am not the one who knocked over it..?)
and me? Oh I am the most stubborn, idiotic and the most difficult to handle.. All I know is game.. handle my figurines and buy even more of them.. read comic watch anime and hang out with some stupid people whom she will never approve of... (no matter who they are she'll find faults really).. I dont study~ coz I failed 1 subject once... not serious when asked to do things... Very loud and alwaes talk back...Alwaes spoil gadgets or wadever that I touched coz I never take care of them.. or just trying to find a reason to get new ones coz I find joy in wasting money....
I happen to think that I AM JUST BEING FRANK! and I suppose wanting to be accepted for being who I am.. thats why i talk back~ not being stubborn~ I just want to be heard.. I suppose by all the wrong people~~ I dont talk to the ones who want to hear me and insist the ones who DOESNT bother to hear to listen to me... there must be seriously something with me for doing tt.. and in terms of stubbornes.. I think kor or shanny is even more stubborn than me can~~ is just tt kor has learnt the art of not talking (hence people think he is flowing and will do anything he's asked of) and shanny is just the youngest la.. tho mom sometimes do pound on her bt ya.. being the youngest really do have the priveledge~~ sigh~
Who says I dont look after my gadgets? It aches me when I know my iPod died on me... Well I suppose up till today I alwaes believed wad she said.. that I alwaes destroy my things on purpose... but then again~ when I see my iPod.. i think i can cry for that little thing... it died! my companion of 3 years died! SOBX! How can I ever live through without an instuments that play me my songs~~~
and hello~? who says I dont study? I dont think i'll clear my diploma if I dont study.. I know my results is not satisfactory coz ya I know I have been slacking pretty much (I'm pretty ashamed of the results too actually.. they just hit a sore spot..) but hello~ I wont stand tt accusation k... who says I dont study~ I dont have sooo many teas in my cupboard only for enjoyment k... they happen to be my energy booster in one way or another... if u say I am lazy i will comprehend.. bt dont study??? game~~ I dont game the way kor WoW wad...I am not the one who happen to spoil my PS2 for the second time becoz I gamed for too long.. dunno who go n watch dvd for so long n overheat the thing ma~ Figurines n comics~~ nw tt... if she go against tt i suppose i've got nothing to say.. coz tts the way I indulge myself... my figurines are my pride~ my comic books tho I dont really take care of some of them.. happens to be the library I am pretty proud of... (I think if i tell my mom/dad that they'll kill me for sure.. wad library.. they're just a buncha rubbish that destroys ur mind) Animation.. u say its time I grow out of it.. But hey~ the ones who made those animations are not kids u know.. they are fully grown adults~ so.. if they can create sth like that.. I suppose nth wrong with me watching them right~ I am just appreciating their art and creativity in terms of computer graphic, drawings n story lines.. (okai fine I am just trying to cheer myself up)..
Then again hoh.. when I think about it.. games.. music.. animations.. comic books... hey~ they pretty much shape up my characters also.. for better or worst I dunno~ Reading things like conan, monster and kindaichi helps to understand the way pyschopaths thinks (I can protect myself tt way) Watching things like One Piece teaches me the importance of friendship and to stick together and respect one another even tho u are alwaes quarreling n making fun of one another... Hikaru No Go raises my interest in those Go chess pieces... Bleach alwaes reminds me that when one did something really horrible, its most of the times coz of a misunderstanding or the past that they went through.. so Alwaes check their history and u can make peace with one another if the other side able to see that u are willing to compromise.... Comic books like Salad days teaches a lot about relationships... Those that tells story of blind people and their Nanny Dogs teaches us to be more sensitive to these people who are not so able... Ouran teaches u to be idiotic and handle rich kids (okai I suppose not a very good anime sample to be placed here but anywae they're still one of my fave coz they do make me roll on the floor n laugh...) Never mind the impossible things like welding 3 swords at one go or death god being around or stretching like some rubber man or wadever la... but~they're very meaningful really... If only those ADULTS give animations or comic books a chance.. i suppose can learn quite a lot of stuffs nia (okai I feel better already... hahahahahahha!)
she told
the story ...
22:23
