Sunday, September 17, 2006
I am in deep deeeep deeeeeeeeep trouble.. havent been able to sleep properly the past few days? And i dont know why... I find myself sighing a lot.. especially when i am alone and i'm doing nothing.. deep within me i think i know i am yearning for something.. but what is that? I have no idea at all la... but yea.. i dunno why.. these past few days i alwaes feel tugs somewhere in my heart? its like.. its sinking n sinking n sinking and i'm barely holding on to it tt kind? i dunno la...
I dont really have a reason to feel tt way.. It's not like i am broken hearted or sth like tt? I dont know la.. its just soo weird... and i realize i think a lot n a lot n a lot.. but i dunno what I was thinking?? short term memory ah! and at night when i sleep i'll dream about things... the moment i woke up.. i cant remember a single thing? but i felt like i was in a dream? and i'll have difficulties going back to sleep? seriously this is bugging me a lot a lot a lot... but since i cant pinpoint the problem.. i dont know where to begin to settle it~~~
And seriously.. I really find myself yearning for something.. but i dunno wad... its like.. there's something i expect to be there but its just not there.. and at the same time i know if its not there i cant do anything about it either?? GRAGH! i dunno ah.. lol!weird right? super duper weird la but seriously.. i am wanting something.. but i dunno wad.. GRAGH!
okai okai okai.. never mind.. i got my new wallet liao! yay yay yay! hahaha.. well yeah i got a long one.. i actually found one that is without the opening at the top? but i think think think.. heck~ if the opening is not there i cant hide big notes! so i decided to get one which i think looks pretty nice.. but they only have to colour.. a very bright pink and a not so bright pink.. its still pink.. so i got the not so bright one but its still pink... lolol!!
u know.. my dad asked me on what i wanna do now that i graduated.. the only thing tt pops up in my mind is..."MARRY ME OFF!" LOL! okai i am just too lazy to study but oh my.. i know i have to pursue further.. but its such a headache la... so irritating de.. haaaaahx~
oh... and i realise i can get pretty depressed de.. just like my mom? i can think n think n think n think until i get really depressed.. LOL! this is so not me.. i dont want to become like my mom man.. but yea.. at times... just at times i can feel myself going nuts.. loL! and i frequent the swimming pools these days.. i need a place a quiet place to think... think about wad~ dont ask me... coz i also dunno... sad leh... if its something i cannot get.. how can i yearn for it.. i just dont get it...
"when u think nothing can go wrong, everything went wrong.." thats a very sad statement.. and i'll never forget it... never ever ever in my whole life~
she told
the story ...
19:27
