Midnight Silhouette

Saturday, April 01, 2006

ubin is fun!! fun fun fun fun fun fun fun! till kanna trap in mud also still fun fun fun fun fun~~ lol! my arms are aching like dunno wad tho.. (weird huh.. my arms n shoulder's aching more than the leg)... okai...imma let the video n photo do the talking on where we went and all la...

BUT!! i'm happy tt my cycling skill din rot! nyahahahaha! i can go downhill safely n go up some hill! but~ i pretty much walked up the hills.. TOO TIRING! CANNOT MAKE IT! hahahahaha!!!

anywae~ gonna blog a bit about my cousin here.... dont worry! i aint gonna name anyone! and since i have loads of cousins~ no one will know who's who.. well.. imma talk about cousin X... (sounds cool huh) i usually talk to her in indo de.. so~~~~ yeap.. the translations of wad X said is only about there la.. not that accurate

X has been chatting with me lately.. and i tell u.. X's kinda getting on my nerve.. i cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot stand the way X whine!!!!! (dont ask me to sit then alrite)... X's been whinning about every single thing and reporting every single thing to me.. i am kinda getting sick of it! its like... GROW UP!!!! u're older than me by years la k! wad the heck loh!!!! "i have no faith in humanity" THEN GO N BE SOME ANIMAL.... okai of course i din say tt but i felt like it seriously.. i dunno! wad do u want me to do??????

seriously la! why are u created to be a human when u "have no faith in humanity".. i dunno~ i feel like strangling X la.. havent even experience the worst of humans yet loh! wadever u went through is nothing compared to me la can! and why are u complaining by saying "its hard to find a good friend" a good friend only comes by when u treat one as good,.. if he/she betrays u then they are not worth it n tts it! dont go n happily put millions of people under the same catagory!

and btw~ who said i have a best friend? i make this clear but i treat everyone the same alrite! i have faith in my friends and i have faith in humanity or wadever it is u are talking about BUT! dont expect me to find a best friend or a close friend la k? its still A FRIEND.... the only different thing is the term close n best.. how best can ur best friend be? he/she mite be the one who can understand u most but are u gonna end up marrying him/her???? and u dont have to be close in order to find a true friend la! u can stop contacting one another for aeons! one day u found one another again n catch up within minutes like the gap never happens.. THATS TRUE FRIENDS! dont screw me up with ur best friend or close friend talk it aint gonna work with me alrite? i dont care about best friend or close friend... all i care is my friends thats by my side right now! okai????? yeah.. u should probably learn how to treasure those people sticking by urside.. sadly listening to all ur whinning yet nothing they can do with it either... poor them

and please? dont even begin talking about relationships can?? dont blame ur other party when it can possibly well be ur fault la! u know he/she so damn assholic already still want to go steady with him/her for wad? and if a long lasting relationship finally comes to an end.... whose fault was it? u can blame everyone else but urself for as long as u want la.. it aint gonna help! it'll torture u even more la! basket.. wad is this loh.... "i've went through so much rejection and this is all i can take..." (i was tempted to say.. go n end ur life then... if its all tt worth it...) i think if i was the old me i would've probably said it out loud (i am a very reverse psychology kind of people btw) STOP! PAMPERING AND SELF PITYING URSELF! u make urself looks sick and irritating la k! it aint helping!!!! snap out of it! i just detest people who keeps keeps keeps self pitying themselves expecting people to care.. if u really need it earn it.. i am here to help u but i aint gonna provide u with ur every needs! aite??

u ask me wad i value in friends? i tell u wad~ its the very little thing they do for me... i dont need it big and i dont need it grand.. i dont need anyone to tell me wadever they're gonna do for me or all the sweet nothings coz its probably all just in their heads and their day dream anywae... neither do i need things to be done with expectations from myself... (eg.. i help u today tml u have to help me.. i'll slap tt kind of people)... i hate it even more when u do things to gain impressions... like this guy in my sec school days.. who'd climb over mountains n cross over seas for me... but when i said no it means a no and it will alwaes be a no.... so dont go abroad and irritate me instead... wad are the little things? eg.. S helped me with the microscopes without me asking and with no intention.. he just happens to be there waiting for wei ling and was looking at me carrying microscopes around so he helped... another eg H helped cover me with blanket when i was in a camp... did it with no intention but just tot i mite feel cold and hence covered me with a blanket.. eg... XY today jumped into a pool of mud to help another girl who got trapped too.. no intention.. he just cant stand there n wait for me to jump back down to the mud to help the other girl... THOSE~~~ are wad friends are for la k... no sweet nothings no fakes and nothing!

hiih!!! sick la sick~ why are u still whinning la can~~ and oh how i wish u'll be reading this blog (but i dont want to create a mess.. so better not..) but i really want u to know sth else.. U DONT KNOW ME! SO DONT ACT LIKE U DO!!!!!! and also.. please stop day dreaming? none of those's gonna happen~~ okai? okai~ the end~ (if u just cant take my advice and all... dont ask me for one and waste aaaaaall my breath.. u'll just do things u want to anywae!)

okai.. hah~~~ kluar juga unek unek gw.. been soooo bt for sooooo long sia~~~~ sometimes.. i wonder... is being this strong... or act to be strong while inside is broken to pieces too... gonna do me any good? at times i just refuse to recieve help... like the mud? i asked them not to step in coz i dont want them to dirty their feet..... but XY went n helped the other poor girl anywae... sho shweeet.. lol! oh well.. i dunno.. sometimes its just bugging me.. i know i aint tt strong.. but i want to be tt strong.. coz i dont want others to view me as a weakling.. but! i think maybe being a weakling has its advantages hey?

she told the story ... 23:06