Midnight Silhouette

Friday, July 01, 2005

heez.. its not gibberish.. =)

i swear i dont know u anymore.. i dont understand how did we ended up like tis.. u promised me sometime ago.. u'd tell me everything n anything no matter wad.. and now u are telling me that as long as it makes me worry u wun tell me? its like.. it hurts a lot can?i dont know u anymore.... how did u become like tis? i dont mind worrying just dont make me feel this pain.. i dont want any secrets any hidden things between us.. i hate tt kind of thing...i know sometimes i am too muchsometimes i worry so much and i know u meant well.. but it hurts.. u dunno how it feels but it hurts.. i dont want anything to come between us.. i dun wan u to hide anything from me... why must i ask then u'll tell me? these daes.. i tot i am just thinking too much.. so i erased the thoughts.. but i seriously feel it even more strongly now than ever.. u are not the same anymore.. or at least.. u are not the han tt i fell in love with..i dunno.. u just feel so different sometimes.. n i hate it.. i told u recently that u are not the han who can fulfill wad i wan anymore.. and i know for sure thats the problem now.. if i had known this would come.. if i had known i'd feel this kind of pain n hurt again.. i wouldn't even want to continue at tt time.. in the end i got hurt again.. in the end u also got pissed again..in the end i know i am trying too hard.. i told u i am still recuperating my feeling and recollecting my hearts after tt incident.. and this just have to happen.. and this just have to reshatter my heart..i dunno... i'm tired.. and i really do know now u cant satisfy wad i want anymore han~~ u asked me.. are u really tt bad... fine i admit today's incident was partially my fault..i am wrong to have cursed at u knowing u are still unwell.. i was just devastated coz.... oh well u know wad i planned for the day.. i was disappointed.. i was angry and i didnt think straight...u didnt tell me that the doctor actually wanted to give u 3 days mc.. u didnt tell me u went to the doctor.. how am i supposed to knoW.. ask u said.. how am i to ask? at least in this current situation..there's no way i can ask... i cant call u.. i cant msg u.. u cant call me coz u cant move from ur bed.. how am i suppose to know how bad ur sickness is..? ask u say...and i say u tell.. u dont want me to assume things.. u dun want me to think.. u dont want me to worry.. and u think by hiding and not telling me anything i wun do tt? excuse me i think u are thinking too lowly on me..u know i am a worrier... even if u dont tell me anything i would go around assuming the wrong thing can??? tts why i dont want anything hidden from me.. i want to know everything.. n u know about it loh..u know tt i want to know about everything n everything and all u do was hide from me.. hide from me and tell me to ask if i want to know more...i dunno... i dont know u anymore han.. u r a different han from the one i love... different.. i dont feel ur warmth anymore.. in fact i dont feel anything anymore as of now...other than pain.. agony.. u told me dont go...and yet history is repeating itself... its repeating itself again n again~~ i'm tired.. n i told u before..my heart was shattered.. i need to recollect it.. now even the small bits u have been able to help me find.. is gone again~~~
i dont know u anymore... we dont talk much anymore.. u dont tell me anything anymore.. can u believe wad a year its been.. n i think u are not the same anymore.. u've changed..everything changed... where did u go.. why did it become like this,.. wad did i do to deserve being treated like this..wad did i do that make u take back ur words again n again...wad did i do... to deserve all this...

she told the story ... 00:19