Midnight Silhouette

Sunday, January 09, 2005

i wonder if in her case.. its called love..
or just simply stupidity..........................

seriously wanna tell this to her face...
" when things go wrong... when u became a loner.... don't bet on us to alwaes be there "

u know how saddening it is...
or at least on wad the heck is happening to u?
me n ffie is still fine... we are still friends..
even tho we didnt spend much time together...
we at least makes effort to talk to each other..
even tho not as close as last time yea..
but u?
well i know once u r in love everything evolves only around him n him only...
the very question i am asking myself is tt...
when the heck are u gonna elarn ur lesson??

i must say i cannot doubt feng nan
yes i think he's a very good man of his words and everything...
but to stick to him until like tt??
where the heck is ur pride?????
i musnt say this i know...
but seriously sometimes it disgusts me how a girl can be at a mercy of a guy so so much....

cant argue tt i.. too have han as the centre of my life...
but u shall see wad the heck will happen to him if he dares to say..
" i want u to do ur things according to my order... or to wad i say ...and only i can say "
i tell u i'll give him a slap ah....

then again.. maybe its just the different policies of life...
my policy...
nobody controls me! other than myself..
not my family.. not han...
to certain extent.. yes i'll let them control me...
but to the extent that even wad time i sleep everydae also must listen to them..
i wont give a da*n loh...
this is MY life and its not his... and it surely not theirs!
my parents knows me well.. and let me be anywaes...
of course they'll nag n nag until they're happy then they'll let me run wild...
and for han... at least i know he is true and truly loves me..
he respects me and my choice....
he sure changes a lot from the "only me as ur world" to
"hey ur friends are my friends too.. u can go"
and at least han seriously gimme respects to my will...

true that sometimes he is ORDERING u for ur own goodwill..
but the hack...
i didnt know u didnt have pride in urself..
and u are so blinded by wad u think u can call love....
fine i know u accepted the fact tt u just have to listen to him and everything will be alright...
one thing tt is a nature of the human being...
" u give them little.. they want more.. u give them more.. and they're all over u"
lets just say i dont have faith in a one sided kind of relationship like urs...
theres no taking.. only giving..
sure he treats u well...
lets just see how long it'll last......
must say tt u are a very patient person tho....
if i am u.. i'd have rejected him the dae he gave me the criteria to listen to everything he says
even tho i love him so.. it wont go anywhere if the relation ship is soo sooo soooo one sided...

and like wad i said when i first wrote in this entry....
( u can alwaes come to us... ) but...
" when things go wrong.. dun expect us to alwaes be there for u..."
i wonder how long more it will take before u'll become a complete loner...
with no one else but him...

she told the story ... 01:36